Guilt-Free Ways to Prioritize Yourself After Baby

18 January 2025

Becoming a parent is a life-altering experience. The moment you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, the world as you know it shifts. Suddenly, your life revolves around this tiny human, and it's easy to put your own needs on the back burner. But here's the thing: prioritizing yourself isn't selfish—it's essential. In fact, taking care of yourself will ultimately make you a better parent. You can't pour from an empty cup, right?

So, if you're feeling like you've lost touch with who you are since becoming a parent, you're not alone. Many new moms (and dads!) feel the same way. It’s easy to feel guilty when we focus on ourselves after having a baby, but knowing how to balance self-care with parenting duties can be a total game-changer. In this guide, we’re going to discuss some guilt-free ways to prioritize yourself after having a baby.

Let’s jump in!

Why It's Important to Prioritize Yourself

First things first—why should you prioritize yourself at all? Surely, the baby comes first, and you can take care of yourself later, right?

Wrong!

No one is saying that you should forget about your baby’s needs (obviously), but constantly putting yourself last can lead to burnout. The strain of not addressing your own needs could affect your mental health, relationship, and even your ability to bond with your baby. When you feel physically and emotionally depleted, it becomes difficult to show up as the best version of yourself for your child.

Think of it like flying on an airplane. The flight attendants remind you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else, even your children! Prioritizing yourself is a lot like that—when you take care of your needs, you're better able to take care of your baby.

So, let’s learn how you can make this happen without the guilt!

1. Time Management: Carve Out Personal Time in Your Day

The first step to prioritizing yourself is to find pockets of time in your day. This doesn't mean you have to carve out three hours every morning for "me time" (though if you can, more power to you!). But even smaller moments can have a big impact on your well-being.

How to Create Time for Yourself:

- Use Naptime Wisely: Instead of using every naptime for chores (yes, the laundry can wait sometimes), dedicate at least one nap a day to do something for yourself. Whether that’s reading, journaling, or taking a quick nap yourself, those small moments will accumulate over time.

- Early Bird Special: Try waking up 30 minutes earlier than your baby. It's amazing what a peaceful, quiet morning can do for your state of mind.

- Partner Up: If you have a partner, take turns with the baby duties. Let your partner know that you need some time for yourself, and reciprocate the favor.

Remember: it’s okay if you don’t get hours of alone time. Even a little personal time is better than none at all.

2. Let Go of Perfection

Ever heard of the phrase "good enough is good enough"?

Now is the time to embrace that concept wholeheartedly. You’re not a robot—you’re human! As much as we’d all love everything to be perfect, the truth is, perfection is unattainable (and honestly, overrated). Making peace with this fact will help you manage your time and energy more effectively.

For example, maybe you wanted to cook a gourmet dinner, but ordering pizza tonight was just easier. Or maybe the house isn’t spotless, but your baby is fed, happy, and you took some time to unwind—that’s a win!

Here’s How to Let Go of Perfection:

- Stop Comparing: Social media can make it seem like other moms have it all figured out. But remember, those perfectly curated Instagram feeds often hide the messiness of real life. Everyone has their rough days.

- Lower Your Expectations: This doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities, but give yourself a break! A less-than-perfect home or missed laundry day doesn’t make you any less of a great parent.

- Celebrate the Small Wins: You rocked the baby to sleep? That’s a win! Managed to take a shower uninterrupted? Another win! Focus on what you’ve achieved, even if it’s something small.

3. Ask for Help—And Accept It!

This one is simple: Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Whether it’s calling on family members, hiring a babysitter, or simply leaning on your partner, there’s no shame in needing assistance. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re not capable; it just means you recognize that you need a little extra support, which is 100% normal.

Ways to Get Help:

- Delegate Chores: Share household tasks with your partner, or ask a friend or family member if they can lighten the load. It takes a village!

- Hire a Babysitter: Even if it’s just for an hour or two, hiring a babysitter once a week could allow you time to do something for yourself—like grab a cup of coffee or get your hair done.

- Join a Parenting Group: Parenting groups can be great places for support. Whether they're in-person or online, these groups provide advice, humor, and camaraderie when you need it most.

Sometimes, just talking out your frustrations or concerns with others who are experiencing the same thing can provide immense relief.

4. Build a Simple Exercise Routine

I know what you’re thinking: "I barely have time to shower, how am I supposed to fit in exercise?!"

But hear me out—getting your body moving can do wonders for both your physical and mental health. Exercise boosts endorphins, improves energy levels, and helps relieve stress, which is exactly what you need after a busy day with your baby.

And here’s the thing: It doesn't have to be complicated.

Ways to Fit in Exercise:

- Incorporate the Baby: There are plenty of baby-friendly workouts out there! From baby-wearing yoga to stroller-friendly walks, you can bond with your little one while getting in some movement.

- Mini Workouts: You don’t need an hour at the gym—try short, 10-minute bursts throughout the day. Squats during tummy time, lunges while holding your baby, or a few stretches before bed all count!

- Focus on What You Love: Hate running? Don’t do it! Love dancing? Then put on some music and have a mini dance party. Find something you enjoy, even if it’s just taking a walk around the block, and you’ll be more likely to stick with it.

5. Stay Connected With Yourself Beyond Motherhood

Parenthood is a new chapter of your life, but it doesn’t mean you should completely lose touch with who you were before becoming a mom. Reconnecting with your identity outside of parenting can help create a more balanced sense of self and prevent burnout.

Here Are Some Ideas:

- Rediscover Old Hobbies: Did you have activities you enjoyed before the baby came? Whether it was painting, reading, or knitting, try to squeeze back in time for those hobbies that make you you.

- Date Nights Are Still a Thing: If you have a partner, keep your relationship alive by scheduling date nights—even if it’s just a quiet night on the couch after the baby goes to sleep. It's important to nurture your other relationships too!

- Socialize: Make time for friends, even if it’s just a virtual coffee date, and talk about subjects beyond parenting. Reconnecting with friends will remind you that there’s more to you than just being a mom (even though that’s an amazing part of you!).

6. Practice Mindfulness or Meditation

Motherhood can often feel like a whirlwind, leaving you spinning from one task to the next without a moment to catch your breath. Taking time to practice mindfulness or meditation can significantly reduce stress and help you feel more connected to yourself.

Why Mindfulness Helps:

- Calms Your Mind: Incorporating just 5 to 10 minutes of meditation a day can reduce anxiety and help you stay grounded during those chaotic moments.

- Improves Focus: With consistent practice, mindfulness can help you focus better on the present, making you less prone to feeling overwhelmed by the never-ending to-do list.

- Boosts Patience: It’s no secret that parenthood tests your patience. Mindfulness can help you react more calmly during stressful parenting moments (yes, even during those 3 A.M. wakeups).

You can start small: a few deep breaths when you’re feeling overwhelmed can go a long way.

7. Invest in Self-Care, Even If It's Small

If there’s one thing you take away from this article, it’s this: self-care is not selfish.

Whether it’s a 5-minute face mask or going out for a mani-pedi, finding small acts of self-care to incorporate into your routine is vital for your emotional and mental well-being.

Self-Care Ideas for New Moms:

- Treat Yourself at Home: Aromatherapy, baths, comfy clothes—simple pleasures can bring about significant feelings of relaxation.

- Outsource Help: Consider getting groceries delivered or hiring a cleaner when things become too overwhelming (and if it’s within your budget).

- Say No: One of the best forms of self-care is learning to say no to things that don't serve you. Protect your time and energy by not overcommitting yourself.

Conclusion: You Deserve to Be a Priority Too

It’s easy to get lost in the whirlwind of parenting, but it’s crucial to remember that you matter too. You don’t have to choose between being a great parent and taking care of yourself—you can do both. By implementing just a few of these strategies, you’ll start to see how much better you feel overall, which will only enhance how you show up for your baby.

So go ahead, prioritize yourself. You deserve it!